Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
