i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
