I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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