last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My bed smells like the plague
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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