Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
