Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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