summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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