was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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