Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
