where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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