I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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