Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
