Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
