I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize