Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
