idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
