you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize