He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just tell him i said nine months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize