you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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