this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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