Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
