Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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