so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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