is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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