end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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