In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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