That's when you crack a 10am beer
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Houston, we have a blender
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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