I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
