Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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