i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
