She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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