I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
