I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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