there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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