I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
