Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
