Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
