How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize