Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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