He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
