member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dignity is for republicans.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
