K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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