No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
