i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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