So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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