Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
