he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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