Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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