Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
