I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize