haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
