that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
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You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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