She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
babies were throwing up all over the place
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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