Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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