On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
