do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
