she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
