Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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